King's College Dublin News

Realizing Real Estate Value

The King's Campus in Phoenix Park is ripe for tasteful redevelopment. But it has to be done with sensitivity and style. That's why we hired Faraonico, the leading Italian architectural practice, who have prepared exciting plans for the new King's Dublin Western Portal. Just click on the BEFORE and AFTER pages to see what we're planning for the presently underutilized Phoenix Park peri-urban facility.

Special Offer : The Sport of King's

Summertime in Dublin. When the students have been cleared out and their living quarters fully fumigated, why not take advantage of our stunning facilities in the luscious greenery of the Phoenix Parkland? We've got some of Dublin's finest real estate. Stay in King's Mansion Luxury Parkside Apartments for only $499 per week per person sharing in six-bedded bedsits with fully-equipped avocado-themed bathroom and Finninsh sauna on each and every floor. Marvel at the magnificent herds of Scandinavian-type deer roaming across the nearby parkland, suitable for light shooting with .33 rifles (subject to planning permission). Refreshing swimming facilities in the nearby Liffey. For the young at heart, try roaming in the Park - you never know who you'd meet. Witness the ritual dances of Celtic Druids on the night of the full moon. Join an impromptu cider-tasting soirée near the Wellington Monument. Hop on the Luas tram from the proposed UNDERGROUND METRO INTERCHANGE into central Dublin for some retail therapy, then relax with an invigorating bout of Old-Style Waltzing in our Collegiate Basketball Arena. For details of these fabulous offers, contact King's Conference Associates at KCD. Terms and conditions apply.

Decentralization : The Way to Go

Why should the benefits of a King's education be confined to Dublinsiders? Fuelled by generous funding from Finer Small Campuses, discreetly subsidized by the Irish Governmment, we are spreadings our wings around the provinces. Following our successful expansion into Royal Meath, we are already planning our next bridgehead in County Mayo, together with our new outlet partner The University of Foxford. The King's West Education Mall launches next Autumn with accredited degree courses in Community Leadership, Charismatics and Consultancy. In future years, the range of King's degrees in Mayo will expand to include Marine Malacology and Mediatic Interview Techniques. Leader of the Mall will be Dr P.J. O'Toole, younger brother of KCD President Magnus O'Toole. P.J. is the author of seminal educational texts including Not in My Barbecue and I'm Glad You Asked Me That. Other selected staff at the Dublin campus will be offered transfers to Mayo, depending on their research earnings in the coming year.

President Slams Complacency

In a hard-hitting speech to the King's College Parents' Association, President Magnus O'Toole lashed out at educationalists who waste time maintaining the status quo and teaching traditional academic subjects. Speaking at an Awayday held at Wicklow's exclusive Kippure Hotel and Artificial Ski Resort, O'Toole stressed the need for constant change and nonstop exciting innovation. He characterized his adversaries in Ireland's academic community as Moaning Minnies of the Rearguard. "Come off it, fellas," he urged. "We live in the midst of a sea change. Are we going to bury our heads in the sand?" Support for President O'Toole's courageous stance was voiced last night by other leading academic leaders. Dr McAllister Gurk, former President of the Timahoe Institute of Phlogiston Studies, spoke in praise of "a judicious and cogently argued position, stated with O'Toole's trademark eloquence."

"Profiting from education" - that's the KCD difference

Optically challenged? We can recommend a very reasonable optician.

Quote of the Month: "Money is the One True Measure of Research"
(Magnus O'Toole)